I feel good now. Things pass slowly by my awareness filling me with wonder. Awe really!
On an evolutionary level we began our lives/existence of wilful –no animated– life with feelings. Feelings moved us. Feelings are what moves the entire animal kingdom. Humanity is an animated life form with feelings and thoughts, reason, judgment, time, logic, will and analysis.
I remember when I was young seeing how my feelings move my body, not only with shaking and pulses, but moving my limbs and back or torso, the whole body at times. It seems upon remembering that, that there is a process of becoming more thoughtful. I can see through my own development and working with special needs teens and adults with autism and other psychic distortions that feelings do control the body, but then less and less as the mind grew. At first feelings did not have control of the body, then as I learned to speak and use the native language, my thoughts were able to take control from feelings of my body and move my body with my thought. Thoughts move the body in finer, more subtle and detailed ways. This is a process going from a feeling moved body to a thought moved body; it is natural and complex and many things can and do go wrong.
I am an expert in this process mainly because I am still in touch with my feelings. I am the wilful being who is creating a balance between being moved by my feelings and being controlled by my thoughts. As I unblock psychic defences that are repressing deep hurts, and accessing those pains, I am once again able to allow myself to be moved by my feelings. Now though this is mostly intentional. When I was a child, it seemed involuntary, my body would shake with feelings. Today, with balance between my thoughts and feelings, I am able to both think deeply, honestly and feel the full range of my feelings.
This understanding of my own development, past that of a young adult and into my elder years, brings me hope for myself as an individual, and for humanity as a species. I believe that we all can keep growing emotionally and mentally into our old age. I also believe that humanity can continue to develop and mature into our full potential, which is to be both a thinking, rational being as well as a feeling and intuitive being.
